If you were not already friends with someone before any divisions arose pre-Trump, I fear "unity", if possible, will take a lot of work on both sides. And even then, I doubt major headway will occur as often as I hope it does. It's more than likely it will take work with many pre-Trump relationships as well. I can work to forgive, and agree to disagree with people, but it's very hard to do when I've been called nasty things, simply because I chose to vote for President Trump. I expect it is the same for anyone I may have slammed with things similar.
I am currently finding that with people that do not know me already, it is extremely hard to find a DMZ where we can meet and together listen and learn from each other. Nothing I personally believe is "cemented" in place. So it is not impossible to listen attentively, to opposing viewpoints. It takes effort, sometimes a lot of effort, to do this, but it comes down to what is more important to me - Being Right or Learning when I am Wrong? At 70, It's the learning that makes living so exciting and pleasurable for me.
I am more of a hermit in my old age than when I was younger. I don't mind sitting at home alone, really. I once thought, or rather told myself it was "other people" I wanted to avoid, but it's really how "me, myself, and I" recharge most comfortably. I like other people. It's what I loved the most about being an RN. I was able to meet many different people from different cultures, faiths, beliefs, and racial and ethnic groups. Coming home and being alone at night was my way to recharge so I could be fully present for others the next day. (And yes, there were days when that did not go well. On my part.)
Do I have a point? I think I do. I really like people. It indeed bothers me when people are as divided as many are these days. I'm not going to sit here and cry away the rest of my days, but I am aware there has been a lot of damage done, not by whomever is in the White House, but by us. Pogo is still right.* I want to do what I can to weaken his statement. But I can't change you, I can only change myself. I am responsible for what I do and say. No one's behavior makes me do or say anything. I allow myself to respond in anger and choose the actions I take, or don't take, in response to you.
One foundation belief that, in order for me to reject or modify it, I would require a lot of evidence supporting, ? Judging ANY INDIVIDUAL by something they had no choice over when they were born.
Systems that might have been established to favor such a thing over others? I am absolutely willing to listen to such a claim. I know such systems have existed, and still exist. I also believe that some systems do change over time. Not necessarily because of the system itself, but because the people working in that system, change.
If your presentation of anything includes calling me names, names that carry no meaningful evidence of my own behavior adding up to what the name suggests, it's going to be a lot harder for me to hear you.
Personally? I'll still try. Not because doing so offers a guarantee we will make headway in our discussion, although I hope we still can, but rather because I want to understand what you are saying underneath all the emotion. That's all I ask of you in return. I require this of myself, it is not required, by me, of you.
"The whole law is made complete in this one command: 'Love your neighbor the same as you love yourself.' If you continue hurting each other and tearing each other apart, be careful, or you will completely destroy each other." (Galatians 5: 14-15 ERV)
* "We have met the enemy, and he is us." From the comic strip Pogo, copyright by Walt Kelly, 1971.
